From: OGErasmus@aol.com
Full-name: OGErasmus
Message-ID: <47e.1b8539a.31aceddc@aol.com>
Date: Mon, 29 May 2006 20:37:48 EDT
Subject: (no subject)
To: GEparty03@aol.com
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Scientific Explanation of Hell
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
chemistry mid-term.
The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it
with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the
pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
(absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas
cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need
to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which
they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to
Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different
Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you
are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more
than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one
religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in
Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the
volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and
pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand
proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell
breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the rate at which souls enter
Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa, (Cheerleader Captain and
Class Valedictorian) during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in
Hell before I sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I slept
with her last night and again this morning, then number 2 must be true, and thus
I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows
that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct... leaving
only Heaven, and thereby proving the existence of a divine being which
explains why, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God!!!"
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A."
Many thanks
Regards
Glyn
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size=3D3>Scientific Explanation of Hell<BR><BR>The following is an actual qu=
estion=20
given on a <st1:place w:st=3D"on"><st1:PlaceType=20
w:st=3D"on">University</st1:PlaceType> of <st1:PlaceName=20
w:st=3D"on">Washington</st1:PlaceName></st1:place> chemistry mid-term.<BR><B=
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answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with=20
colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleas=
ure=20
of enjoying it as well.<BR><BR>Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off=
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heat) or endothermic <BR>(absorbs heat)?<BR><BR>Most of the students wrote=20
proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and hea=
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when it is compressed) or some variant.<BR><BR>One student, however, wrote t=
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following:<BR><BR>First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in=
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time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and th=
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rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that=
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once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are=20
leaving.<BR><BR>As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the=20
different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions s=
tate=20
that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since t=
here=20
is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more t=
han=20
one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.<BR><BR>With birth an=
d=20
death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increa=
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exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell beca=
use=20
Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to=
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stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are=
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added.<BR><BR>This gives two possibilities:<BR><BR>1. If Hell is expanding a=
t a=20
slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature an=
d=20
pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.<BR><BR>2. If Hel=
l is=20
expanding at a rate faster than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the=
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temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.<BR><BR>So which=20=
is=20
it?<BR><BR>If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa, (Cheerleader=20
Captain and Class Valedictorian) during my Freshman year that, "it will be a=
=20
cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into account the fact th=
at I=20
slept with her last night and again this morning, then number 2 must be true=
,=20
and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen=20
over.<BR><BR>The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over=
, it=20
follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...=
=20
leaving only Heaven, and thereby proving the existence of a divine being whi=
ch=20
explains why, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God!!!"<BR><BR>THIS STUDENT RECEIV=
ED=20
THE ONLY "A."</FONT></SPAN><SPAN=20
style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 16pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>=
</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT lang=3D0 face=3D"Eras Bold ITC" size=3D3 FAMILY=3D"SANSSERIF"=20
PTSIZE=3D"12">Many=20
thanks<BR><BR>Regards<BR><BR>Glyn<BR></FONT></DIV></FONT></BODY></HTML>
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